BACK TO THE HOSPITAL

MONDAY (10 days to go) – I spent most of this morning in the hospital being poked, probed and generally humiliated to see if I was healthy enough to be cut open and exposed. It’s not really the hospital employees that you come in contact with, it’s the system that scares you. In fact, when I got lost in the same basement labyrinth that I got lost in five years ago (see “The History of Medicine” below), a friendly young woman actually went out of her way to ask me if I needed directions. And the anesthesiologist, nurse, and X-ray technician who tested me were efficient, professional and reassuring. But it seemed like the system, maybe the actual building that held everything, was trying to frighten me -- and succeeding.

I’m having a hard time believing that I’m still true to the diet. A donut on the counter at home looks so delicious it’s hard to believe. Even the pretzels in my office at work that I ignored before the diet look like manna from heaven now. But I’m steadfast to 1000 calories a day – at least so far. I’m not eating to live. In 10 days I’m assured it will get easier.

One good sign: I weighed myself this morning and I’ve already lost 21 pounds in the first four days of this program. Not bad. Believe it or not, I’m running out of notches on my “fat belt.” It won’t be long before I have to go into my closet for the next level of clothes. I look at it this way: a midway goal is when I can again fit into my cashmere Zegna overcoat.

Another will be when I get up enough courage to tell you my actual weight. More later.